Will the real Alex Conrad please stand up?

This past week, I discovered that my identity has been stolen. I had more than a sneaking suspicion that some of my personal information had been compromised, due to the fact that someone had been tampering with my credit card account. About a month ago, my account was frozen due to some suspicious activity. After calling the credit card company, I found out that someone had called in on a hearing-impaired line (untraceable) and started making changes to my account. All of their information was correct, and they were able to add themselves as an authorized user of my card. Fortunately, my account was frozen before any charges were made. So I had to cut up my card, wait for a new one in the mail, and activate it upon arrival.
A month on, and I had gone through this process three times. So last weekend when I found 4 bills in the mail for various credit cards that I had not applied for, I was not very surprised. Upset, maybe, but not surprised. First thing on Monday, I began the phone calls: all 4 new credit cards, the bank, the credit bureau, my real credit card company, and the local police among others. Cleaning up the financial mess that I had been dastardly handed took about half of the week to clean up (fortunately we happen to be on Spring Break this week or I don’t know how long it would have taken). Technically, I am still responsible for most of the charges. I won’t be released from liability until after I receive some paperwork in the mail, fill that out, scan and print out copies of some documents, sign off and send it all back, and then have my “application” reviewed by a committee or whoever. Then when that’s approved, I’m released.
For extra fun, my credit card company will no longer talk to me because they do not believe I am the “real Alex Conrad”. I guess I can’t blame them. Regardless, they have proceeded to charge me late fees for not paying my bill on time. Now let’s see, I can’t access my account and my card has been canceled; how am I to go about making a payment? Perhaps I should ask the other “Alex Conrad”….
It was not until a meeting with my accountant on Friday that we both discovered there was a bit more. The “other Alex” already filed my taxes for me. No, I am not kidding. This person not only stole my identity and ran up as many bills as he or she could manage, but also filed fraudulent returns to both the IRS and the State of Ohio. The IRS, the gods of accountancy be praised, stopped the process and decided to review my account before paying out my returns. The State of Ohio did not. They had already deposited “other Alex’s” return into a bank account somewhere.
I find it a bit ironic that while I am thematically focusing on my identity this semester and trying to visually/conceptually define that identity, at the same time someone has taken it from me. Not only taken, but dragged it through the dirt as well. Bloody pirates.

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